


The Straw’s Gone, Now

by cheetoskittle



Series: The Bricksburg Police Department [3]
Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Birthday Party, Cop AU, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, How Do I Tag, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 07:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18148967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheetoskittle/pseuds/cheetoskittle
Summary: Literally ten minutes after the prank gone wrong, Emmet finally gets to have his birthday party. A party that’s filled with a whole lot of trouble, but a party nonetheless.At least his hair is still intact.





	The Straw’s Gone, Now

**Author's Note:**

> basically this is a follow up from the final two straws fic (u should probably read that first) because i never wrote Emmets bday party and he DESERVES IT DANGIT

“Can we untie the beast yet..?” Benny asked, carefully prodding the tiny body Metalbeard had tied to a table with his baton. Unikitty (the tiny body) growled, as if she was a firey cat and not just a really feisty human police officer.  
“I’m guessing not.” Lucy said when Benny yelped and launched himself out of the way.   
Metalbeard laughed. “Ya don’t say? That lassie did a number on my arm! Look at it!” He waved his right arm (You know, the one he HADN’T unattached in order to make the prank work) in the air. It was covered in tiny scratches, which was really a wonder considering the fact that Unikitty didn’t have long nails. At all.   
She just really liked biting people when she was mad.  
“Wow, she really did that to you?” Good Cop mused, looking closer at the banged-up arm. Lucy rolled her eyes, looking as bored as ever. “What do YOU think? She’s a cold blooded killer, for brick’s sake!”  
“I HEARD THAT!” Unikitty writhed in the ropes Metalbeard had used. (He just stashed them under his desk for some reason. Like a rope pirate.)  
“Oh, so you’re refusing the fact that after you fell for a prank, you NEARLY TORE EMMET’S FACE OFF?” Bad Cop yelled, pointing to where the orange-clad construction worker still lay, looking warily in the distraction of the tied up officer.  
“I wasn’t THAT bad. He deserved it!” Unikitty said, trying to look guilty enough that she’d be allowed to go free.  
“No I didn’t! You almost tore my scalp off three days ago!” Emmet said, quietly enough that the officer didn’t hear. So she didn’t stop raving.  
“You scared the CRAP outta me! I was having a primal, monkey brain response! Don’t blame me! I’m innocent!” She rambled, trying to undo the ropes from the inside. Bad Cop wouldn’t stand for it, though, because he took that opportunity to tighten Unikitty’s ropey chains.  
“Unfair!” Unikitty groaned, laying her head down on the table.  
Lucy took that moment of silence to speak. “Are we gonna have the party or not? The pizza’s gonna get cold.”  
Benny looked up from where he’d been texting Mayhem. “Pizza?” he asked, eyes brightening.  
“Pizza!” Emmet replied, finally looking away from the angry lady. “We’ve got every kind!”  
Benny smiled. “Pineapple? Do ya have that?”  
Emmet laughed. “Duh! What kind of party would it be without pineapple?!”  
Both of them shared an in-depth about why pineapple pizza was the best (Because it is, cowards) while Bad Cop made sure Unikitty was easy to come out of her prison.  
“Feel mad? Angry? Furious?” The man asked, not lookin away from the exact spot the ropes tied to the table.  
“Nah. It’s passed.” The Officer said, suddenly rid of any and all anger she’d been plagued with before. “I really want some pizza now.”  
“Are you positively, ABSOLUTELY SURE?” Good Cop interrupted, tipping his glasses towards the trapped person.  
“Yeah! Just let me go already!” Unikitty said, rolling her eyes.  
Metalbeard looked to the brothers for assurance, then went to untie the ropes. As soon as the last, most important knot was gone, Unikitty was out and bouncing down the stairs to the first floor, where everyone else in the room had migrated to.  
It was where the party was being held.

“Who the HECK told ANYONE that it was okay to give Emmet alcohol?!” Lucy yelled, glare shooting around the room.  
Everyone looked completely clueless, except, of course, Metalbeard and Bad Cop. They were laughing their butts off, Bad Cop hanging onto the bigger guy for dear life.  
“So it was YOU!” Lucy growled, stalking across the room to where the two had currently stopped all laughing and had gone completely silent.  
“WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT?!” Lucy yelled, pointing her finger at both of them with enough anger to blast their heads off.  
“It wasn’t me, if you’re thinking..?” Metalbeard said, backing off. “I was just havin’ a good laugh, is all...”  
That left Bad Cop.  
“You. Got. Emmet. Drunk.” Lucy said. Bad Cop looked around nervously. “It’s his birthday, what’s the harm..?”  
“The harm is that, uh, Benny kinda got wasted too?” Good Cop said, pointing to the table where he’d placed the two drunkees.  
Both of them were, like Good Cop had said, completely wasted. Like, wow. That much.  
Benny was currently trying to... keep another guy from his girlfriend. Except there was literally nobody there. Like, he was taking to a ghost.  
“Ya better GET AWAYY from her... I’m talkin’ to ya... you right there...” Benny slurred, glaring at the invisible man next to him.  
Emmet was trying to call himself.  
Yeah.   
He was literally trying SO HARD to call his own number.  
The reason? He felt sick and was trying to notify himself that he could go home.  
“Caaaan you plea-ase not pretend... that youuuuu’re a... a pizza guyy?” Emmet said into his phone. (It wasn’t his fault his number was five away from being the pizza place’s.)  
On the other end, the pizza guy was trying desperately to exit the conversation.  
“You ca-can’t leaveeee.... you gotta go hoooome.... I feel sick! Ya can go now...” Emmet tried again, frowning when nobody at work told him he could go. (Drunk Emmet was really bad with logic and reasoning.)  
Unikitty listened to the duo’s conversations, looking longingly at the drinks that Lucy had stowed away under her desk after she’d discovered what they were. She wanted to do whatever the two had supposedly done.  
It looked fun.  
“AAAAAAAAAAAA!! Youuuu’re a MONSTERRR!!” Benny yelled at his invisible attacker, who was trying to flirt with his invisible girlfriend, who was invisibly ignoring him.  
“Okay, maybe quiet down!” Unikitty said to Benny, grabbing onto his arms. Drunk Benny didn’tile that one bit, and he launched his fist into her face.  
It was the most epic thing he’d ever done.  
Also, the worst thing, because the scream Unikitty let out was enough to stop the argument Bad Cop and Lucy had been having.  
“What the-“ Bad Cop started, stopping when he saw Unikitty holding her face, Drunk Benny lifting his hands triumphantly, and Drunk Emmet laughing his face off (much to the pizza guy’s dismay).  
“Maybe we should... go now?” Metalbeard said, walking to the exit. He didn’t wanna be there for the Unikitty Rage-splosion.   
Lucy and Bad Cop didn’t either. Good Cop was already pulling the wasted guys to safety, far from the officer on the tallest, whose face was already reddening up.  
Good Cop gave Benny to Bad Cop. “Take his to Sistar City. Mayhem’s probably still there.”  
He gave Emmet, who was rejoicing over going home, to Lucy. “Quickly. Leave before it happens.” he said, rushing out the front door. The floor was already strangely empty, and Lucy took the cop’s advice and bolted, Emmet hanging on to her back.  
A few seconds after she left, Emmet screeched. Well, as much as he could.  
You know, wasted.  
It sounded like this: “AAAUAGHEGAA!!”  
The reason?  
Unikitty leapt at him.  
Not even Benny. Benny was long gone. Emmet was, unfortunately, the first one she saw.

At least his party had been fun.   
Pineapple pizza was the best part.  
The worst part was when he’d been wrongly attacked for the third time in three days.  
But hey, that was just another day at the Department.


End file.
